Pointless
I still stand by my last post ....or possibly behind it ...if it will shelter me from the tossed eggs. I was really trying to look at the whole issue of what we "owe" each other (those of us who read and comment on each other's blogs). I totally understand the wish to still hear from the people who have made it past the post, I guess my point (and I did have one) is that I don't feel like they owe it to me.
And I don't feel like I owe it to other people to keep writing my blog (I simply can't refer to these people as "readers" as it makes me snort everytime I think like that.)
And I still think that having a child after infertility has to heal a lot of the hurt (however, I stand to be corrected as I'm exceedingly likely never to reach that particular goal).
Which brings me to the comments left about my 8 frozen blasts and 5 frozen 8-celled embryos which neglected to make it onto my list of numbers. Perhaps I'll do another list with prime numbers and then they can be included (although the blasts would then be left out).
Anyway, I'm rambling (and you didn't even notice, did you?)
My point (and I think I had one) is that unfortunately, my frozones are not likely to produce any great results. They are from three different cycles and so cover the time from when I was 486 months old until I was around 496 months old (ah, for those of you who don't "do" metric that would be around 40.5 years to 41.5 years old).
By the first freezing, I had already had three miscarriages of which only the third was genetically tested (trisomy 5, I think). So I was already a recurrent miscarrier. I can produce huge numbers of eggs (21 on the last fresh cycle), have great fertilization and have a large number make it to blast (5 on the last blast cycle, 7 on the first blast cycle). However, this does not a baby make.
I have had five miscarriages (yeah, I know you're all getting bored of this), which represents 5 more making it to blast (or they wouldn't have implanted) and still, no baby, baby.
So while I appreciate the sentiments, I am torn (to say the least) about the frozones. I don't see them as "riches" but I do feel like I need to eventually at least try a frozen cycle. I'm just not up for the miscarriage ride again. I found the IVF cycles and natural cycles where I failed to get pregnant way easier to take then the miscarriages so I will need to "gird my loins"at some point for a frozen cycle but it's at least 3 months away at this point. (ahum, if my husband read this, he would argue that I am already girding my loins - he's has not been allowed anywhere near me anywhere near ovulation during the last two cycles).
And the pathology from the last miscarriage? I haven't received any results yet (hey, it's only been 10 weeks or so), and I'm not likely to initiate the contact. My point being (oh hell, I'll just admit that I have no point here.)
DinoD
I still stand by my last post ....or possibly behind it ...if it will shelter me from the tossed eggs. I was really trying to look at the whole issue of what we "owe" each other (those of us who read and comment on each other's blogs). I totally understand the wish to still hear from the people who have made it past the post, I guess my point (and I did have one) is that I don't feel like they owe it to me.
And I don't feel like I owe it to other people to keep writing my blog (I simply can't refer to these people as "readers" as it makes me snort everytime I think like that.)
And I still think that having a child after infertility has to heal a lot of the hurt (however, I stand to be corrected as I'm exceedingly likely never to reach that particular goal).
Which brings me to the comments left about my 8 frozen blasts and 5 frozen 8-celled embryos which neglected to make it onto my list of numbers. Perhaps I'll do another list with prime numbers and then they can be included (although the blasts would then be left out).
Anyway, I'm rambling (and you didn't even notice, did you?)
My point (and I think I had one) is that unfortunately, my frozones are not likely to produce any great results. They are from three different cycles and so cover the time from when I was 486 months old until I was around 496 months old (ah, for those of you who don't "do" metric that would be around 40.5 years to 41.5 years old).
By the first freezing, I had already had three miscarriages of which only the third was genetically tested (trisomy 5, I think). So I was already a recurrent miscarrier. I can produce huge numbers of eggs (21 on the last fresh cycle), have great fertilization and have a large number make it to blast (5 on the last blast cycle, 7 on the first blast cycle). However, this does not a baby make.
I have had five miscarriages (yeah, I know you're all getting bored of this), which represents 5 more making it to blast (or they wouldn't have implanted) and still, no baby, baby.
So while I appreciate the sentiments, I am torn (to say the least) about the frozones. I don't see them as "riches" but I do feel like I need to eventually at least try a frozen cycle. I'm just not up for the miscarriage ride again. I found the IVF cycles and natural cycles where I failed to get pregnant way easier to take then the miscarriages so I will need to "gird my loins"at some point for a frozen cycle but it's at least 3 months away at this point. (ahum, if my husband read this, he would argue that I am already girding my loins - he's has not been allowed anywhere near me anywhere near ovulation during the last two cycles).
And the pathology from the last miscarriage? I haven't received any results yet (hey, it's only been 10 weeks or so), and I'm not likely to initiate the contact. My point being (oh hell, I'll just admit that I have no point here.)
DinoD
posted by DinosaurD at 9:37 AM
6 Comments:
If you did decide not to pursue another frozen cycle, what would you do with the frozones? Yes, a more than obvious answer, but I would like to hear what you think about that.
Have your doctors ever mentioned that the miscarriages might be related to uterine anomolies, and not necessarily embryonic, even though trisomy has been detected?
Call me a die-hard hopeful, but I think of you frequently and that somehow this has the happy ending you wish for. Sorry, didn't mean to get all sappy there.
I'm in a weird space in Bloglandia, still infertile but no longer seeking treatment, so in effect, I'm child-less or -free, take your pick. There are several OL friends who stuck with me when I put up a new blog and began moving in a new direction with my writing, but I lost some too. Just like sometimes I can't bear to keep reading once someone's had their baby...we all live in an at-will community and even though it might sound too star-childy, it is a privilege to be allowed into someone else's life. So, keep on if you want, don't if you don't want, and we'll all take the good with the bad.
I have no problem with your view on blogging. I agree.
On your frozones, I don't know what to say. I can imagine you're not too thrilled at the prospect of trying again.
Only you can decide, ultimately.
I agree with Lut, I have no probs with your view on blogging- I agree with you.
As for the frozones, I have zero idea of what to say there either, but understand your desire to give them a go someday...
ahh blogs, readers and writers, I still can't get my thoughts out neatly, I waffle way to much as it is. so my short and sweet take on it is, Blogs are like sitcoms some are really good and very addictive but like sitcoms there comes a time for the finale cliff hanger or slow fizzle it's not us the watchers that have the say unless it's to switch channels mid season.
The Frozones no idea lovely, it seems like such a huge number to have yet it's that very number which causes concerns when you've been through so much already.
I agree with you regarding blogs and comments... In fact I think I hadn't posted anything for over a week... didn't have anything to say.
As for the frozones - I understand not wanting to hop back in the proverbial stirrups (note not saddle) again without well a bullet proof vest that protects blast's from miscarriage. Whatever you decide - I hope YOU are the one that's okay with the decision and know I'll be cheering you on with whatever you do decide.
As for the pathology from the last miscarriage... I think at this point it's safe to say they won't be contacting you... though I could be wrong.
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