It Ain't Pretty (a post you may want to skip)
But the question remains, am I in control here? I like to think so but time will tell.
The ultrasound on Thursday was (finally) definitive. Fetal demise. No shit Sherlock. Well, I guess maybe I can understand their desire to be 100% sure but I was 100% sure more than a week ago (my dates don't lie).
So, I am as prepared as possible but this process is never easy (do not try this at home people, I have had extensive training).
The misoprostol is in place with a back-up refill at my command. I just finished scrubbing the “miscarriage toilet” to within an inch of its existence. I'm not sure why this seems important to me but it does. I have the crisp white shirt on and am freshly showered.
I have all the items for collection - sterile collection pan and sterile specimen jar. I have the doctor's prescription for the embryology lab (embryo pathology due to recurrent miscarriage). I have the utensil for separating embryonic material from blood clots. I wasn't about to use the good silver for this so I dug out one of my son's old baby spoons. It is labeled with "Heinz Baby Basics". Um, I'm guessing this wasn't one of the baby basics the company was visualizing.
I have sent my husband and son out toy shopping. My son is in heaven – we made a list of toy stores and I gave him $40 (and his Dad comes equipped with credit card).
My boys are taken care of, the collection equipment is ready and so….. I wait.
DinoD
posted by DinosaurD at 10:06 AM
14 Comments:
I cannot even imagine being this level-headed and methodical, waiting as you are for the inevitable. I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.
Skip it? No way. You don't get to skip it. :-(
I do hope it will be over and done with swiftly, now that you've finally been given treatment.
I know you knew this was coming, but it still sucks. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
I'm really sorry, Dino. I wish I could be there somehow, to help or, I dunno, do something. My thoughts are with you.
Dino - may the misoprostol do the job and quickly. As for being in control... I think you're doing what you have to do to just get through this.
I hope that while your son and husband are out gorging themselves on toy stores that you are doing okay... or as relatively okay as you can be.
I'm sorry... even though you knew this was coming it still sucks... and more than anything I wish you didn't have to go through it at all.
I'm so sorry. I know that feeling well: Prepare husband, take care of kid, wait to miscarry.
This should not be happening.
I'll be thinking of you.
I am rendered speechless (typeless?) (which is quite rare for me)- I just don't know what to say. I can say that I'm so, so sorry that you are going through this yet again, and my typical it's not fair. Coz it's not.
Thinking of you...
When I grow up I want to be like you. How you can think ahead and plan your day around what is so heartbreaking is to be awed at.
I'm so very very sorry that this is your reality I wish I could think of something intelligent to say but all I can come up with is, My poor friend I am so sorry.
I'm very sorry, Dino. I knew this would happen as well, but I can't help but feel a little heartbroken anyway. How has your husband been through all this?
I'm so, so sorry.
You're keeping it all together through such a difficult time. I will be thinking of you. I hope it is as swift as possible.
Dear Dino, I don't know what to say except "Fucking hell." I'm so sorry you're having to go through this again, and that it's torture in slow motion.
Oh God, I'm so, so sorry.
I am so sorry. I hope that it went/goes smooth and quick.
I wish that there was something I could do to help.
Know I am thinking of you and so wishing this was not happening to you.
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