Piss Off Persimmon
First off … an admission. I had to look up how to spell Persimmon in my dictionary. That would be my Oxford Canadian Dictionary which does not have really obvious words like puling as in "quit your puling DD".
Anyway, there I was trying to determine whether Persimmon had two m's, two s's or what have you. Now I knew it started with "Pers" but I began to doubt my own sanity (a frequent and irritating occurrence) when I couldn’t find it. Much gnashing of teeth later and I realized the pages of my dictionary were stuck together (all the blood, sweat and tears have an adhesive effect – who knew?). Now if I were on the technical cusp (or anywhere even near the technical cusp) I would just use a spellchecker but when I do that consistently, I start misspelling words like “dog” and “spot”.
So back to the persimmon. The whole “wear a bit of mangy string around your wrist to declare your solidarity with the disheveled infertile masses” bit (some of us more massive then others). Oh, and of course the persimmon colour will distinguish you from someone who just got carried away with their tatting.
Now I don’t know about you but the last thing I want when I’m out at dinner is someone to approach me with “ohhhh (squeal), I’m infertile too”. Or perhaps when I’m out getting my Starbucks (something decidedly low class in my neck of the woods), “I’m infertile too, these are my twins.”
Admittedly I am not the typical infertile – I’m a leftover. So the persimmon would allow me to dash the hopes of a great number of people. “Oh yes, I’ve done 4 fresh cycles.. nope, never worked for me… nope, no medical coverage… nope, no adoption… nope, I’m still sad about it… nope, it doesn’t always work... nope, we've decided to stop”. Can’t you just see me as a little ray of sunshine?
Perhaps I could wear the persimmon but with the addition of some black yarn as well. The persimmon would say “infertile” while the black would say “failure”. But then, if I’m going to start advertising, I want credit for the IVF cycles so perhaps I should wear persimmon, black and green shouting “infertile, failure and bankrupting IVF cycles”.
Damn it – I’m forgetting the hardest part, all the miscarriages. Red, definitely blood red for the recurrent miscarrier. (I’ll look up the exact DMC colour later). Okay, we’re getting into braiding territory here.
Persimmon – infertile
Black – failure
Green – IVF
Red – recurrent miscarrier
Am I forgetting anything here or just missing the whole point?
DinoD
First off … an admission. I had to look up how to spell Persimmon in my dictionary. That would be my Oxford Canadian Dictionary which does not have really obvious words like puling as in "quit your puling DD".
Anyway, there I was trying to determine whether Persimmon had two m's, two s's or what have you. Now I knew it started with "Pers" but I began to doubt my own sanity (a frequent and irritating occurrence) when I couldn’t find it. Much gnashing of teeth later and I realized the pages of my dictionary were stuck together (all the blood, sweat and tears have an adhesive effect – who knew?). Now if I were on the technical cusp (or anywhere even near the technical cusp) I would just use a spellchecker but when I do that consistently, I start misspelling words like “dog” and “spot”.
So back to the persimmon. The whole “wear a bit of mangy string around your wrist to declare your solidarity with the disheveled infertile masses” bit (some of us more massive then others). Oh, and of course the persimmon colour will distinguish you from someone who just got carried away with their tatting.
Now I don’t know about you but the last thing I want when I’m out at dinner is someone to approach me with “ohhhh (squeal), I’m infertile too”. Or perhaps when I’m out getting my Starbucks (something decidedly low class in my neck of the woods), “I’m infertile too, these are my twins.”
Admittedly I am not the typical infertile – I’m a leftover. So the persimmon would allow me to dash the hopes of a great number of people. “Oh yes, I’ve done 4 fresh cycles.. nope, never worked for me… nope, no medical coverage… nope, no adoption… nope, I’m still sad about it… nope, it doesn’t always work... nope, we've decided to stop”. Can’t you just see me as a little ray of sunshine?
Perhaps I could wear the persimmon but with the addition of some black yarn as well. The persimmon would say “infertile” while the black would say “failure”. But then, if I’m going to start advertising, I want credit for the IVF cycles so perhaps I should wear persimmon, black and green shouting “infertile, failure and bankrupting IVF cycles”.
Damn it – I’m forgetting the hardest part, all the miscarriages. Red, definitely blood red for the recurrent miscarrier. (I’ll look up the exact DMC colour later). Okay, we’re getting into braiding territory here.
Persimmon – infertile
Black – failure
Green – IVF
Red – recurrent miscarrier
Am I forgetting anything here or just missing the whole point?
DinoD
posted by DinosaurD at 8:05 AM
8 Comments:
I think you could braid them or perhaps crochet them together and that way, each row of red would designate a miscarriage (to clump them all up in one yarn is misleading) - you know, one red vs. three red or God forbid more red - perhaps four greens mean four IVFs and when you see the black - you know it never worked -
And then if you're standing at Starbucks and see a woman with a persimmon and green braided bracelet with a two year old and infant twins in the stroller, you can assume, quite correctly, that she did indeed have IVF instead of being curious about it......
brilliant, brilliant!
It would be a secret society, kind of like when people say "do you know bill w"...
LOVE IT!
Are you kidding? I had to look up Persimmon up in the Merriam Webster (www.m-w.com) and then headed over to Wikipedia to see what on earth they meant (and take it with a grain of salt, yeah, yeah).
Now what's the link with Pomegranate coloured yarn?
All I have to say is that the friendship bracelet days are long behind me.
You mean I wasn't subtle enough? You made the link to the pomegranate brigade? (Head hung in shame.)
DinoD
I had to google-define puling. Why do you have to be so flippin' complicated, Skanky?!
Actually, I would use colored beads for the IVF, failures and m/c, but you really should include pink/blue beads to represent any real live children. One could easily note your success/failures by counting the beads.
I also think a very pretty accent of some crystal beads as a nod to all the embryos, frozen or fresh, that resulted. They would really catch the glint of the flourescent bulbs in a doctor's office very nicely. However, by the time some of us get done, we mave have a belt instead of a bracelet.
I've been inspired. I'm heading to my nearest craft store and stocking up.
G. Troll
Want to make me one while you at it?
I did the whole get rid of the baby crap and the Bloody Plague still showed up. Now I find out that my husband's stupid freaking allergy shot could be the cause of the last year of barrenness(I am not looking it up to see if it is even a real word, thank you very much!) ;)
I like DD's ideas with the beads. I think I still have a box of beads left over from making the old wedding bouquet. I may even have some embroidery floss laying around from my more crafty days. Let me know if you want me to ship that up to you. ;)
Take care. I tagged you but apparently you have forsaken me on my blog. (sniff, sniff) It was last week or something anyway. If you are bored check it out.
what about a nice bleak grey for mentally tortured by said IVF's and Miscarriages?
lets get rid of this whole stupid rollercoaster angle, where is the fun? the highs? the breathtaking peaks? because as far as I can see it's more a freaking ghost train, bouts of normal thrown in with bouts of terror brought on by men and women dressed up in fancy suits.
and what colour is bitter? pee yellow?
"However, by the time some of us get done, we mave have a belt instead of a bracelet."
thanks, DinoD and DD, you made me laugh!
I am thinking of just getting a tatoo across my forehead. "I don't have children because I am a failure". Should that be in black? What colour for "I am considering a puppy now" please?
Glad you wrote this - I read the Persimmon stuff and just thought - Oh, do I have to do this? Would I be letting womanhood down if I don't?
You see, I just don't have much strength of character.
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