Smug, Superior and Other “S” Words

I’m actually glad that I read the train wreck site and all the associated comments in response to their take on infertility sites. I’m also glad that they actually wrote the post (as long as BarrenMare was not hurt by it but she seems well equipped to take care of herself).

So how can I be thankful for such a smug and superior site? Because it reaffirms why I started this blog and why I read the other blogs that I do. Some people are incapable of putting themselves in another’s shoes and it’s unrealistic to ever expect these people to change. An egocentric is an egocentric and a smug and superior egocentric is an ass. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything to be gained from an encounter with such a one.

I don’t expect my husband’s extended family to understand my point of view concerning my in-laws (although it is discomfiting to say the least when they lecture me about how to do more for the mother-in-law). Therefore, it was immensely enjoyable to be able to start this blog by venting some venom about the in-laws (something I do my best to avoid engaging in around my husband, although he is likely to join in.)

Likewise, I don’t expect other people in my life to understand what all the miscarriages took out of me (and I don’t really want them to – I have no desire to have them hurt as well). But, it helped so much to be able to summarize all the crap about our secondary infertility. It doesn’t matter whether anyone ever reads it or if they do, their take on it. I just needed somewhere to put it all.

So my blog is not for "readers", it's not to entertain anyone, it's for me and it feels like I am being more forceful by putting it in a public domain. Maybe to other people, the possible solutions are obvious, for some of us we arrive gradually (if at all).

I also have my fair share of experience with smug superiority – that is a fair summary of the predominant characteristic of my husband’s extended family (and they generally admit it but with the caveat that they are that way for a legitimate reason – ugh.)

I also see a fair amount of smug superiority from some of my students. Each term I have at least 10% of the class who is convinced that they have nothing to learn from post-secondary education – that they already know it all and just need a forum in which to express their vast knowledge. I have seldom seen as much anger as from some of these students when they fail to learn the course material and end up with a failing grade. They often express absolute moral outrage that I can fail students but guess what? THAT’S MY JOB (at least a part of it).

So if nothing else, at least exposure to smug superiority will hopefully make some of us question our own actions and words with regards to others. If we didn’t have great examples, it would be that much harder to avoid becoming what we personally dislike.

So, for those people who don’t like infertility blogs, firstly just don’t read them (this would seem like a simple concept) and secondly, get down on your knees and give thanks that we have given you such great examples of what you don’t want for yourself (we didn’t want it for ourselves either).

DinoD