When You Wish You Were Wrong (for Sandy)
I keep quiet when someone is going through the two week wait. And I keep quiet when someone is pregnant but there are troubling signs or they have a history of infertility and are "older". I keep quiet when someone doesn't have an early ultrasound and I keep quiet when someone is experiencing first trimester bleeding.
It's because I don't have anything remotely hopeful to say. "Yeah, been there, done that". Take your pick: not pregnant, early miscarriage, non viable fetus, late miscarriage, misoprostol, D&C, empty gestational sac, fetal tissue, blood clots. Really, who wants to hear me? I don't even want to hear myself.
And yet, at the earliest sign of trouble, that's what goes through my head - doom, doom and then there's gloom. And I just wish I wasn't correct so often. In fact, this is one case where I would be happy just being wrong forever.
So for those who are going through the wasteland, there is life on the other side. And for me... I'm just thankful I got through it.
After all, I'm supposed to find something to be thankful for today and this is something that permeates who I am. So maybe I can dispense with the trite thank-yous and head to the ones that matter to me (I don't know that anyone else at the Thanksgiving table is going to be prepared for this).
DinoD
I keep quiet when someone is going through the two week wait. And I keep quiet when someone is pregnant but there are troubling signs or they have a history of infertility and are "older". I keep quiet when someone doesn't have an early ultrasound and I keep quiet when someone is experiencing first trimester bleeding.
It's because I don't have anything remotely hopeful to say. "Yeah, been there, done that". Take your pick: not pregnant, early miscarriage, non viable fetus, late miscarriage, misoprostol, D&C, empty gestational sac, fetal tissue, blood clots. Really, who wants to hear me? I don't even want to hear myself.
And yet, at the earliest sign of trouble, that's what goes through my head - doom, doom and then there's gloom. And I just wish I wasn't correct so often. In fact, this is one case where I would be happy just being wrong forever.
So for those who are going through the wasteland, there is life on the other side. And for me... I'm just thankful I got through it.
After all, I'm supposed to find something to be thankful for today and this is something that permeates who I am. So maybe I can dispense with the trite thank-yous and head to the ones that matter to me (I don't know that anyone else at the Thanksgiving table is going to be prepared for this).
DinoD
posted by DinosaurD at 2:51 PM
6 Comments:
I'm thankful for getting to know you. Can you believe it's been a year?
BTW, I like your new tag line.
I wish I didn't have to come up with yet another way to say I'm sorry, it seems like I have to use that way more than any connotation of congratulations. I have no earthly idea what I am going to say when Thanksgiving rolls around here next month, all I know is I'm thankful to have all you internets.
Dino - I wish you were wrong too, but we are, after all, realists...having been there and done that. I tried like hell to be an optimist and to believe all the positive stories - even asked for them at one point. But in the end, I'm so not in control of how it's going to play out. I did manage to find some things to be thankful for ... and for that alone, I am thankful. And I'm thankful for honesty from friends like you. Thanks.
no idea when this thanksgiving thing of yours is but happy thanksgiving and you can be thankful you found me and the other bloggers, see wasn't hard to think of something.
I've taken to going MIA when people are 2ww'ing it I find I want to say, be careful, don't hope so much shit goes horribly wrong all the time etc, I know this isn't about me it's about you but you've put into words something I've been thinking about for awhile.
Me too, very thankful for the internets, very angry at the Powers That Be for messing with us all so thoroughly and consistently.
I'm a tad late to the comments, but heck here goes.. if it's me don't keep quiet. You are probably one of the few that understands and won't blow smoke up my tookus. You've made me laugh, cry, and just smile for your comments. You don't have to keep quiet for me...
I am so thankful though that I found your blog and DD's and a host of others when I truly needed someone to understand. The collective you helped me to be able to just get through it... and continue to keep getting through it.
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