Privacy
I'm conflicted with writing about my son. It seems so invasive of his privacy that I start writing and then stop and then again and then stop. So, again....
He is gifted in literature but also has a nonverbal learning disability - basically it is difficult for him to make sense of drawings, images and forms. He tests at average for mathematical abilities although his anxiety during testing means this may underestimate his abilities. The problem is that he is so fluent with reading that average feels terrible to him. A psychologist used the analogy of being used to a race car and then having someone put squares blocks on in place of the tires. The discrepancy between his reading and math abilities is defined as a disability even though he is at least average in everything (except coordination, motor-visual integration and short-term memory).
I always said that I didn't want a gifted child - just someone average or a littel above as I think it's easier to be that way. And this isn't just gifted but with an added twist. But no... I'm not going to throw him back. My son has taught me about unconditional love since he was born and I am in awe of his kindness and capacity for empathy and I love his sense of humor - we'll learn to deal with the rest. And I do know that "the rest" is a part of him and inseparable from a lot of what I love about him. I wouldn't love him any less is he was developmentally impaired so I can't love him any less for this either.
The gifted part is highly or exceptionally gifted - it's something I have no experience with. I was gifted as measured by IQ alone but I wasn't anywhere near his level with language.
He read all 7 Harry Potters in two and a half weeks in the spring of grade 2 (school was in session so he only had evenings and weekends).
His reading group in school (advanced) had to describe a character in a book they were reading. The girls came up with the character being a "pig" and "gross". The other boys came up with "evil" (one of them is considered very bright). My son came up with "diabolically inventive".
He's just different. He started reading my husband's Wired magazine a couple of days ago.
But then we're all different, no?
I just worry that I don't know how to help him as he does struggle with anxiety and often feels that he isn't good enough. He is generally painfully shy (those with experience here understand the painfully part). He talks about the "smart" kids at school but doesn't consider himself one of them. He dreads sports and is in a class where the boys are sports mad.
He does have at least one good friend and he is generally well liked but I also think he's considered a little "odd". It's that being different part that's so difficult when you're a kid.
Anyway, we love the psychiatrist we are seeing now and hopefully we can navigate this and help our son find enough strength to feel good about who he is.
It seems trivial in some ways but this affects everything about him and is an issue daily. It's so much easier when all they need is a diaper change and some hugs.
Thanks for listening (if you're still here) and I wish all of you a fantastic holiday season and a wonderful 2011.
DinoD
I'm conflicted with writing about my son. It seems so invasive of his privacy that I start writing and then stop and then again and then stop. So, again....
He is gifted in literature but also has a nonverbal learning disability - basically it is difficult for him to make sense of drawings, images and forms. He tests at average for mathematical abilities although his anxiety during testing means this may underestimate his abilities. The problem is that he is so fluent with reading that average feels terrible to him. A psychologist used the analogy of being used to a race car and then having someone put squares blocks on in place of the tires. The discrepancy between his reading and math abilities is defined as a disability even though he is at least average in everything (except coordination, motor-visual integration and short-term memory).
I always said that I didn't want a gifted child - just someone average or a littel above as I think it's easier to be that way. And this isn't just gifted but with an added twist. But no... I'm not going to throw him back. My son has taught me about unconditional love since he was born and I am in awe of his kindness and capacity for empathy and I love his sense of humor - we'll learn to deal with the rest. And I do know that "the rest" is a part of him and inseparable from a lot of what I love about him. I wouldn't love him any less is he was developmentally impaired so I can't love him any less for this either.
The gifted part is highly or exceptionally gifted - it's something I have no experience with. I was gifted as measured by IQ alone but I wasn't anywhere near his level with language.
He read all 7 Harry Potters in two and a half weeks in the spring of grade 2 (school was in session so he only had evenings and weekends).
His reading group in school (advanced) had to describe a character in a book they were reading. The girls came up with the character being a "pig" and "gross". The other boys came up with "evil" (one of them is considered very bright). My son came up with "diabolically inventive".
He's just different. He started reading my husband's Wired magazine a couple of days ago.
But then we're all different, no?
I just worry that I don't know how to help him as he does struggle with anxiety and often feels that he isn't good enough. He is generally painfully shy (those with experience here understand the painfully part). He talks about the "smart" kids at school but doesn't consider himself one of them. He dreads sports and is in a class where the boys are sports mad.
He does have at least one good friend and he is generally well liked but I also think he's considered a little "odd". It's that being different part that's so difficult when you're a kid.
Anyway, we love the psychiatrist we are seeing now and hopefully we can navigate this and help our son find enough strength to feel good about who he is.
It seems trivial in some ways but this affects everything about him and is an issue daily. It's so much easier when all they need is a diaper change and some hugs.
Thanks for listening (if you're still here) and I wish all of you a fantastic holiday season and a wonderful 2011.
DinoD
posted by DinosaurD at 1:35 PM
4 Comments:
He sounds amazing. Complicated, and loving, and amazing. Sounds like you are getting plenty of support in terms of understanding the way he works and what he needs. Do you like his school? I'm reminded of what Julia has done for patrick in terms of moving him somewhere where he is a good fit.
Thank you for sharing.
An average child - with some talents a little above - is what I dreamed of too. Linnea is just that, I think.
I don't personally know any high-IQ children, or exceptionally gifted ones, but I gather it is challenging for parents and teachers.
"Diaper changes and hugs", yes, small children, small worries, big children, big worries. :-)
Humor and empathy are important skills to have, those will help him, surely.
Happy holidays and a great 2011 to you too!
Wishing you the best for 2011.
Don'g know how I missed this post, I am so sorry I'm so late posting. I don't have anything of value to add and probably should just leave light and fluffy stuff but hey I've used capital letters so lets go with it.
Being different is ok when you're an adult but bloody hard when you're a kid. That you love him is so obvious from your words and he sounds amazing he'll find his niche and his group of friends who wont even blink or give a seconds thought to him being "odd"
Because hey you're odd and I'm your friend :p
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